Summary of Why love marriages fail
Getting marriage is a moment that comes in everybody’s life. There are two types of marriage: Love marriage vs arranged marriage. It is seen that mostly love marriage fails. The reason behind why love marriages fail is high expectations from both life partners, consecutive fights, lack of freedom after marriage, life realities, less fulfillment of wife’s desires, misunderstanding, family structure, etc.
Difference between love marriages and arranged marriages?
If a boy and girls marry each other as their personal decisions without the involvement of family members, it is called love marriage. Strong involvement of love and emotions for each other are involved between girl and boy.
If a girl and boy marry each other without their choice, it is called arranged marriage. The decision is taken between the parents of two families. There is no love or emotions involved between girl and boy.
Marriage as an important relationship
Before knowing answer of why love marriages fail let us discuss marriage as an important relationship.
The decision to marry is the most important decision of every girl and boy. If this decision includes love then surely it is no less than the interpretation of a sweet dream.
When a strong element like love prevails, it is man’s ability to think and understand. It ends because the one who is loved has no faults, the emotions of love prevail over the stain.
In this regard, experts say that when we are close to a friend or relative, our brain stimulates them to examine their personality.
But the brain does not stop the person who is emotionally close to them. Negative emotions and thoughts cannot negate intimacy.
It is said that trust in love and trust in each other are needed to fulfill each other. Having no trust is a major reason why love marriages fail.
At the moment, if there is one thing to keep in mind, it is the attraction that arises from love and emotional attachment to each other۔
But when they have to spend day and night under the same roof after marriage, Insignificant things also seem important and a series of nods begins.
Neither love nor marriage is considered a failure of society, but living unhappy with each other after marriage is also a failure of marriage.
Love marriage vs arranged marriages
Thanks to the change in social values in modern times, the practice of love marriage is becoming more common. In the case of marriages, their opinion is given special importance.
But in spite of this, we are seeing an increase in the rate of domestic violence and then divorce.
The majority of them are people who have sworn to live together for the rest of their lives as a result of love. In this regard, Dr.Sumaira Khan, a psychologist and associate professor at the Home Economics College, says:
Due to this, neither love nor marriage is maintained between the two people.
That is why in my opinion love for each other before marriage is not a prerequisite for a successful marriage.
But marriages arranged by parents are sometimes more successful and lasting with the passage of time and mental harmony.
Reasons of why love marriages fail
There are many reasons for the failure of a love marriage, for example, the level of expectations of husband and wife from each other is very high.
Before marriage, the boy and the girl show each other the green garden and become so convinced to live in the paradise of fools that when the bitter realities of practical life are revealed to them, they do not find their bitterness.
Most of the boys seem to be promising that they will always make them happy. They both deal with their confidence as they choose to embark on their play activities.
As a result of a love marriage, the boy and the girl often expect each other that everything will always be according to their will and when this does not happen, they blame each other, and resentment grows.
Then it is realized that this is not the person who traded his dreams. In fact, instead of dreaming of the future, sometimes in real life all dreams are like a palace of sand.
Couples only consider each other’s positives
When deciding to marry, a boy and a girl only consider each other’s positives, unaware of the intricacies of practical life. In this case, most boys are simply impressed by the girl’s beauty or intelligence and push her to the limit.
While parents go to see if the girl knows how to cook, if she is good at housework, if she has the temperament and the ability to take everyone in the house with her. All these things are ignored by a lover but the husband does not.
In the same way, some girls just look at how the boy loves them, how much he cares for them, how anxious they are at the slightest inconvenience.
They don’t even try to know which excellence He is being shown dreams of a glorious life. Is he really able to fulfill them or not?
And then when she goes to her house, her relationship will be established not only with her husband but also with everyone related to her who will share in her attention, love, time, and earnings.
Then he will be her husband, someone’s son and someone’s brother. It has also been observed that if husband and wife work in the same office, they are often unhappy with their wife’s progress and this feeling of inferiority licks their relationship like termites.
Financial issues after love marriages
Similarly, some women do not like to spend their earnings on their families. One of the main reasons for the failure of marriage today is that women are somewhat free and independent because financially stable.
Women consider it an insult to compromise on small things that are exposed to dangerous social issues and attitudes.
Family system and structure
It plays most important role both in success and failure of love marriages. For example, in most Asian countries like Pakistan and India, marriages are arranged by parents between two families.
And special Beloved girls are required to be tolerant, gentle, flexible and understanding as they have to leave their home and give their name and importance.
The girl should know very well that she has no chance to make amends for her mistake, so make her in-laws so attached to her with love.
In case of love marrige, the girl needs more hard work and sacrifices to make her special place in the in-laws and if any mistake is made in this regard, not only the daughter-in-law, but also the mother-in-law taunts her son.
Misunderstanding in love marriages
A ten-year study of married couples has shown that the chances of misunderstandings and distances between spouses over time as a result of a love marriage are many times higher than arrange marriage.
They are bound by the bond of love because couples who marry for love find it difficult to live with each other by feeling the difference between their likes, dislikes, attitudes and tendencies,
While in case of arrange marriages, it is difficult to think. Because the decisions are made by parents, so such relationships are long lasting and successful.
Who cares more about love marriage failure?
According to sociologist Shehla Farqi, “The pain of failing in a love marriage is twice as much in women as in men, and women feel the pain of breaking up for a long time.
The fact is that women are more careful and responsible in relationships than men. However, men are in the forefront when it comes to establishing a relationship.
But while women seem to be cautious in forming relationships, if they tie themselves in a bond, they take it upon themselves to nurture it.
That is why women are more faithful and forward-thinking than men, because in the case of relationships, women’s temperament is more stable and stable, so they spend all their energies in maintaining the relationship.
While men’s loyalty changes over time and they start to feel tired in maintaining the same relationship for a long time.
What a girl should consider before love marriage?
A girl in relationship should think that If someone is dreaming of you, think about whether they are capable of fulfilling them or not. If you can’t compromise on your dreams, don’t make such an important decision that Let repentance become your destiny in the future.
What a boy should consider before love marriage?
In the same way, boy should decide whether the girl will be able to adopt your family values or not. Are the qualities you want to see in your wife in this girl or not?
Don’t make the most important decision of life just by being subject to emotions and don’t show her dreams to ruin a girl’s life. Because in this way You will get temporary happiness but later you will also have to regret it.
How to make a love marriage successful?
Accept changes after love marriage
In fact, after marriage, there are changes in the lives of men and women. yes, it does not matter that girls face a new place, new environment and a few more problems in people.
So when deciding on love marriage, Even well-planned marriages can lead to peaceful life after marriage. Girls should also avoid indulging in in-laws but give importance to the likes and dislikes of in-laws.
Maintain understanding in love marriage
Husbands and wives should have friendship and trust each other in the relationship. Do not make anything a matter of ego.
Because if the couple sticks to their word then home environment and peace are destroyed. Try to calm down when one is angry and make the other feel guilty when the anger subsides.
Impacts of love marriages
Health expert Dr. Fazil Bukhari believes that a loving relationship is a guarantee of a healthy life for a person. because the spirit of love keeps the blood flow in the human body at a certain level and protects it from stress.
But also produces blood. I am also helpful. Relationships formed as a result of love cause the human body to develop immunity against diseases.
According to modern research, satisfied married couples have relatively lower blood pressure problems. So they also have a lower risk of a heart attack.
If one of the spouses gets sick and the other takes care of them, the chances of their early health are much higher because the emotional support of the lovers also strengthens them psychologically.
However, why love marriages fail is still going to exist in our societies until proper guidelines are provided to teens. The battle between love marriages vs arranged marriages will continue if not taken as a serious social issue.